Sunday, August 24

my mom must have been really hungry or something...

[ p r o o f : ] 
she talked to me about food probably 20 times in about 20 minutes. this was our conversation:

"Heather, I bought these grapes. Don't they just look to die for?"
"Yeah, they look good."

"Heath, your hot dog is ready. You can assemble it and put ketchup and mustard on it or whatever."
"Alright, cool, thanks."

"...Do you want an ice cream bar?"
"No, I'm good. Thanks though."

"I've been ordering baked potatoes at restaurants a lot lately, and the broccoli is just DELICIOUS."
"Oh, that's cool."

"Okay, lately I have been buying a lot of non-brand name things, I mean brands are good too, but I've been buying non-brand to save money, I mean most of the time they taste the same, you know? But this time these store brand- well, I guess it's not store brand, it's a brand, just not, like, Sun Chips- anyway this time they taste like SAWDUST. I ate a few and just gagged. So I put a post-it on them that said "These taste like sawdust, but feel free to take them," and I put them in the lunchroom at work. They are just disgusting. I think I'll stick to brands."
"....oh. hah."

"Alright, I'm going outside to eat."

(ten minutes later)
"Heather, I bought all these apples for you. They look really really good."
"Mom, do you realize that you have been talking about food for the past twenty minutes?!"

(that night)
"Mom, these sausages are really good."
"Oh, thanks, I tried out this new flavor. It's pineapple or something...pineapple mango? No, just pineapple. Yeah. I thought you guys would like them. I decided to give them a try. They're from Vons."
"...Oh, that's nice."

this is just a fraction of her random, pointless food discussions that were intended to be shared with me, but really it was just her having a conversation with herself.

hahahahha. shelley, you're a character.


Shannon said...

literally, cracking up, cant stop laughing, can totally hear mom's voice....

and am cracking up even more because i think i am like this too. i talk about food all the time. my life revolves around my favorite store: trader joes.

ohhhhhhh heather. this was the best post.

Katie said...

lol! my mom is like this, 2!

Anonymous said...

OK when I read this I think of what a great Mom Shelley is for wanting the best for her family.
Way to go Shelley.