Sunday, January 6

Dear Human Population:

There are a few movies out there that you should keep out of your radar screen. Allow me to reveal my top two:

1. The Last Mimzy (stuffed bunnies, subliminal messages, little girls, bizarre occurrences, creepy. creepy. creepy.)
2. The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep. This is a recent addition to the list. I saw it two days ago with a certain Melissa Cripe and Dylan Niles.
It included Scottish accents, a giant black water horse named Crusoe trying to attack little Scottish boys, magical happenings, bondage between a boy and a Loch Ness Monster, a random tourist couple that really didn't need to be in the movie, fantasy, and a predictable Jumanji-like ending right from the start.)

Both of these movies look like innocent children's movies. But they were both freaky, loud, and Sci-Fi-ish. The little children that populated the theaters of these pictures were probably traumatized and had to sleep with a light on in their parents rooms for two weeks. So please, spare yourself. Spend your $9.50 on a more quality movie.

Heather Crusoe Leith


Anonymous said...

oh dang i really wanted to see the last mimzy, but you've steered me otherwise. thanks friend

Anonymous said...


Dylan Niles IV said...

Crusoe was the best friend I've ever had, but this movie destroyed my faith in magic. I once believed in the blissful wonder of childhood, but now I realize: There are no monsters, there is no magic, there is nothing but a confused little Scottish boy with a deranged flashback problem and a baffling inability to tread water. Oh, and there is also a horribly crappy, faux-sentimental plague on movie theaters everywhere known as The Water Horse.