Sunday, January 6

Dear Human Population:

There are a few movies out there that you should keep out of your radar screen. Allow me to reveal my top two:

1. The Last Mimzy (stuffed bunnies, subliminal messages, little girls, bizarre occurrences, creepy. creepy. creepy.)
2. The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep. This is a recent addition to the list. I saw it two days ago with a certain Melissa Cripe and Dylan Niles.
It included Scottish accents, a giant black water horse named Crusoe trying to attack little Scottish boys, magical happenings, bondage between a boy and a Loch Ness Monster, a random tourist couple that really didn't need to be in the movie, fantasy, and a predictable Jumanji-like ending right from the start.)

Both of these movies look like innocent children's movies. But they were both freaky, loud, and Sci-Fi-ish. The little children that populated the theaters of these pictures were probably traumatized and had to sleep with a light on in their parents rooms for two weeks. So please, spare yourself. Spend your $9.50 on a more quality movie.

Sincerely,
Heather Crusoe Leith

3 comments:

{zeinahkara] said...

oh dang i really wanted to see the last mimzy, but you've steered me otherwise. thanks friend

Anonymous said...

CRUSOE!
-melpizzle

Dylan Niles IV said...

Crusoe was the best friend I've ever had, but this movie destroyed my faith in magic. I once believed in the blissful wonder of childhood, but now I realize: There are no monsters, there is no magic, there is nothing but a confused little Scottish boy with a deranged flashback problem and a baffling inability to tread water. Oh, and there is also a horribly crappy, faux-sentimental plague on movie theaters everywhere known as The Water Horse.